Small Steps to Stay Calm and Centered During Life's Changes
I can’t believe we’re approaching the end of 2025. It’s been an intense year. With the flurry of change circling us - whether it’s geopolitical, economic, personal or professional, global or local - we’re living in a time ofmany endings and beginnings. These might look like shifts in jobs,relationships, routines, or even the broader structures we’ve always relied on.How can we find our footing amidst sometimes jarring transitions?
Change can feel exciting and full of potential for some, but it can feel overwhelming for others,especially when faced with situations that seem hopeless. Some of us adapt quickly, while others may feel stuck or frozen in the situation. You’re not alone. Sometimes, you may feel ready to face it head-on, and sometimes, you may feel sad, fearful or uncertain. Here are some practices that I find helpful to move forward, even when things feel like they are out of control.
The Emotional Rollercoaster of Change
If you are like me, whenyou experience significant change or extreme stress, your emotions can be allover the place. At first, you might resist it, trying to pretend it's nothappening. You might get angry or frustrated; maybe try to bargain with the situationto regain control. Sometimes, you’ll feel an overwhelming sense of sadness or hopelessness even as you begin to accept that things may not return to how they were.
But it's important to note that you don’t have to rush through any of these feelings. It’s normal to move in and out of these emotions, and some may get “stuck” in one phase longer than others. You may even lapse back and forth. No matter your response to change, you are not wrong; you are not broken (though it may feel like it inthe moment). The key is to show yourself compassion and know that what you’re experiencing doesn’t mean you're failing – it’s part of navigating the situation.
If you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed, the rest of this post is for you. Here are a few tips from my personal experience to help you take small, manageable steps to regain control when everything around you seems unpredictable.
The Change Curve: Understanding the Phases of Change
When we face significant transitions, our emotions often follow a pattern. The Change Curve is a model that shows some of the emotional stages people go through when confronted with significant change:
- Shock & Denial: At first, you might resist change or react in disbelief, hoping that it isn’t true or that it’s just temporary. You might deny how significant it is or how it’s affecting you.
- Frustration & Anger: Once the change becomes undeniable, frustration or anger may arise as you struggle to come to terms with the impact of the change on you personally and those around you.
- Bargaining and Experimentation: You might start to bargain or negotiate with yourself, toying with “What does this really mean to me and others,” and asking yourself how you can get back to “normal.” You may make agreements or deals in hopes of managing the new situation. Some people may even feel stuck at this stage.
- Depression: You might feel sadness, loss, or despair as you realize that the past cannot be fully reclaimed, and the uncertainty of the future looms, driving fear of what is to come. When things seem outside of our control, we can withdraw or go in a downward spiral.
- Acceptance: Finally, after working through these emotions, you find new ways to find peace or accept that some things are outside your control. You define and act on what is within your control and then begin to normalize to the new situation.
Not everyone moves through these phases at the same speed nor in a linear fashion; some people might breeze through them, while others may find themselves lingering in one stage longer than expected or slipping back to a different phase. That’s okay! Honouring where you are in the process without feeling pressured to “catchup” to others is important.
So, What Can You Do About It? First, Acknowledge WhatYou're Feeling
Feeling anxious,stressed, or even excited when change hits is okay. When things feel out ofyour control, your mind and body react naturally. Whether you’re having racing thoughts or feeling emotionally drained and exhausted, acknowledging those feelings is the first step in moving through them.
It’s normal to be uncertain, but remember—you’re human, and this is how our brains are wired. Feeling the full spectrum of emotions is okay when you're experiencing uncertainty (Davidson & McEwen, 2012).
When It Feels Like Too Much, Start Small
When everything seems chaotic, it’s easy to think you need to fix it all at once. But that’s not how change works. The best way to navigate through it is with small, manageable steps. Even if you’re feeling stuck in frustration, sadness, or confusion, you can always take one small action that helps you feel grounded and in control.
Here are a few ways tostart:
- Do One Simple Thing: When everything feels out of control, focus on one tiny action you can take right now. It could be as simple as brushing your hair, drinking a glass of water, or stepping outside for a minute. These small moments of care help your mind reset and give you a sense of agency, even in a tough moment.
- Ground Yourself in the Present: Change often leads to worry about the future or regrets about the past. Instead, try to anchor yourself in the present moment. Focus on what you can see, hear, or touch around you. These little grounding exercises help quiet the “what ifs” and bring you back to the here and now.
- Don’t Overthink Rest: If your body or mind tells you it’s time to rest, listen. Rest isn’t laziness—it’s a crucial part of coping with stress and uncertainty. Your brain needs time to recover, especially when things feel overwhelming. Studies show that rest helps improve brain function and emotional resilience, especially during times of stress (Walker, 2017).
You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers
Uncertainty can be one of the hardest parts of change. You might feel stuck in a phase where you tryto make sense of it all, bargain with the situation, or overanalyze your next steps. But here’s the truth: no one has everything figured out, especially during transitions.
It’s okay not to have all the answers. It’s okay to take your time. Some days, you’ll feel like you're handling things well, and other days you might feel like it’s just too much. And that’s completely fine. The key is to show up for yourself, no matter where you are in the process.
When You Get Really Stuck: It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Suppose you feel stuck,particularly if your emotions, like anger or depression, are starting to impact your relationships, work, or ability to function. In that case, it's important to acknowledge that this is a sign that you might need support. Sometimes, we need help to move through those tough phases, and it's okay to ask for it.
Seeking support isn’t asign of weakness; it's a sign of strength and self-awareness. Whether it’s talking to a friend, family member, or a professional, reaching out can make a huge difference. Therapy, coaching, or even just leaning on someone who understands can help you navigate through the emotions you might be struggling with,allowing you to get back to a place where you can take small, manageable steps again.
Remember, there’s no shame in admitting you’re struggling. The sooner you recognize when you’re stuck and seek the right support, the sooner you can move forward with more clarity and calm.
Focus on the Positive
When you're feeling frozen in frustration or sadness, it's easy to get caught in negative thinking. A practice I find helpful is shifting focus to something positive, even if it’s just a small thing. It could be something you’re grateful for like the morning sun, a snuggle with your pet, or even something as simple as the warmth of a cup of tea.
Focusing on positive moments helps activate your brain's reward system, which not only reduces stress but also helps you move through difficult emotions with more resilience.
Focusing on positive emotions can trigger the release of feel-good chemicals in your brain, improving your mood and emotional balance (Davidson & McEwen, 2012).
Simplify Your Decisions
The uncertainty that comes with change often leads to decision fatigue, where every decision feels heavier than the last. To reduce stress and to overcome stress fatigue, I have followed some sage advice that I want to pass on. Try simplifying your choices. Make a list, set boundaries, and focus on the few decisions that truly matter.This conserves your brain’s energy and helps you stay more grounded.
Research shows that reducing the number of decisions we have to make helps preserve mental energy and reduces decision fatigue (Vohs et al., 2008).
Final Thoughts
Change is tough. It can be messy and unpredictable, and sometimes, it can overwhelm us and hold us captive. But no matter where you are in the emotional journey of change,remember that small, steady steps can help get you through. You don’t have tohave everything figured out, and you don’t have to feel pressured to rush through any phase.
Remind yourself that you’ve been through tough times before, and you can get through this one too.You may not have control over many changes happening around you, but you do have control over how you respond to them. Rally yourself to take just the first step. You’ve got this!
If you're experiencingthoughts of self-harm, it’s essential to reach out for help immediately. Yourlife is valuable, and support is available. Please don’t hesitate to contact acrisis helpline or talk to a mental health professional. You don't have to facethis alone.
- Canada Mental Health Services: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html#a3
These resources areavailable 24/7, and trained professionals are there to listen and support you.Please reach out.
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